As you all know, this year they took the M-climb and stripped it of a lot of what it was supposed to be. I understand that windshields were broken and people were throwing water balloons filled with things other than water, but completely banning any and all water balloons and large super soakers was a complete overreaction.
There are numerous ways to deal with the problems that happened last year. Requiring students to throw only water balloons issued by Blue Key or the student activities office or whoever is in charge of this thing would have solved most of the problems. Simply have a few student volunteers fill up a thousand or so water balloons and drive them up to the mountain in plastic buckets. (Somehow I don’t think there would be a lack of people willing to do this.)
Requiring everyone that wants to throw water balloons to walk up the mountain rather than drive gets rid of the problem of people throwing water balloons filled with anything other than water. If people are still worried then have someone from public safety pat down 100 people over the course of an hour to make sure they aren’t carrying anything. It’s really that simple. There are already a couple public safety officers there, I’m sure they can pat people down.
It’s pretty simple to ban the lacrosse sticks used last year, it’s not exactly easy to smuggle one of those in your pants…. yeah, that’s a penis joke.
Anyway, the point is that rather than do anything sensible, they decided to pussify the entire M-climb. The M-climb is supposed to involve being pelted with water balloons, that’s why they give you the fucking hard hat. You put the hard had on your head and if you’re male you hold your 10 pound rock in front of your junk to avoid any sterilization from stray fire.
The problem a lot of people seem to have with the M-climb is that getting pelted with water balloons isn’t the most pleasant experience in the world. Well, that’s the entire point. You’re supposed to climb three miles up a mountain with a 10 pound rock and then get covered in whitewash. What part of that is pleasant? Unpleasantness makes it more fun. The same way that most people think touch or flag football is less fun than regular football, but it’s not even that extreme. No one is tackling people on the way up the hill, they’re throwing water balloons. Being pelted with water balloons also makes it more rewarding. The M-climb is quickly turning into a leisurely stroll up a hill with a rock and if you can show me one rewarding thing about that then I’ll eat my shoes.
I suppose it’s easier from a management (and probably a legal) standpoint to completely ban anything that a few whiners don’t like, but this is exactly the opposite thing we want to portray in Mines. Taking the easy way out to avoid a few complaints isn’t honorable or even respectable, it’s cowardly.
What’s next? Will we have to remove references to alcohol in our fight song because it’s “not appropriate” or because “we don’t want to promote irresponsible drinking”? Will we have to remove the line about using the college bell to mix whiskey because someone might get hurt and sue the college if they attempted to remove a bell from the Guggenheim tower?
I don’t know what the M-climb will be like next year but I sure as hell hope the people in charge discover their common sense before next fall.
